Out of the Shade Read online

  There was no response from the kitchen. No attempt to continue the conversation at all. So Chuck scratched behind Precious’ ears and tried to relax. She was in a touchy mood, coming up for a head scratch or two then lumbering away to lie by herself. Maybe it was because she’d caught onto the signs that Jesse and he were headed out again and wouldn’t be cuddling with her tonight. Or maybe she’d picked up on Jesse’s restlessness.

  Besides one brief kiss at the door, Jesse had kept his distance for the last thirty minutes, puttering around the house as he slowly got ready for the Christmas party they were heading to at Kam’s house. He hadn’t sat down once since Chuck had arrived.

  Chuck was trying not to take it personally.

  “How many days do you have off for Christmas?” he called out.

  “Two weeks. I don’t go back until January seventh.”

  “Sweet freedom—” Chuck started to say, then snorted, trying to suppress a laugh as Jesse walked into the living room, shrugging on his shirt.

  “What?”

  “Does that shirt have actual gold threads woven into it?” he asked. He was still learning how best to coax a smile out of Jesse, but teasing always seemed to work. “And are those flames?”

  Jesse mock glowered. “It’s my party gear. Shut up.”

  “Whatever, Sollie. How any of your friends don’t know you’re boning a dude is beyond me.”

  Jesse paused fixing his hair in the hallway mirror and glanced at Chuck. “Honestly, I think Kam may suspect.”

  All thoughts of teasing Jesse flew out of his head. “What?”

  “He called me yesterday and asked if you were coming with me.”

  “Outside of work, I haven’t hung out with just Kam in weeks.”

  “Exactly.”

  Chuck froze. He’d been so wrapped up in his time with Jesse that he hadn’t even considered that Kam might start questioning why he was MIA at the same times as Jesse, and that when all the boys were together, the two of them were always showing up and leaving together. Jesse’s unease made a whole hell of a lot more sense now.

  “Does that worry you?”

  “I don’t know how to feel about it. I think Kam would be the coolest out of all of them because he’s one of those live-and-let-live guys. Don’t get me wrong, he’d totally give me shit for it. But no more than with the usual bimbos.”

  “I’m a bimbo now, huh?”

  Jesse gave a sly smile in the mirror and didn’t answer.

  Chuck leaned over. “You hear that, Precious? You’re the one with the shiny hair and girly name and I’m the bimbo.”

  Precious flopped onto her back and pawed at Chuck. He rubbed at Precious’ flank as he decided how he needed to respond. In the days since Jesse had asked him to be his boyfriend, Jesse had been talking to him more and he didn’t want to shut that down. But he also didn’t want Jesse to feel like he was being pushed.

  “I know we said we’d drive together, but you’ve got me rethinking all of this. Is it going to be uncomfortable for you having us show up together?”

  Jesse’s features fell. “I guess we could drive separate.”

  Chuck stared at Jesse in disbelief. A month ago, Jesse never would’ve been hurt if Chuck said they needed to be more careful, let alone shrug off the thought that one of his oldest friends might know they were fucking. And now Chuck was the one shutting the closet door instead of Jesse?

  If Jesse wasn’t going to make a big deal about this, then he wouldn’t either.

  “Nah. We’ll go together. I’ll be back here tonight anyway, and I have to work tomorrow so I won’t be getting plastered. This way I can drive and you can have fun.”

  Jesse sauntered over, shooed Precious off Chuck’s feet and finally plopped down next to Chuck. “You could take the day off. It’s only a few days before Christmas.”

  “Can’t. They’re practicing for the next competition and I need more pictures because the last set wasn’t strong enough. Since we have that grant from Stefan’s foundation now, I need to get some pics off to the program officer.”

  Jesse gripped his beer can tighter. He hadn’t been happy to hear that Chuck’s ex-boyfriend’s father had given money to the boxing club because of Chuck’s connection to him. “You sure he’s not giving you this money for other reasons?”

  “I’m positive, Jesse. Adalric has nothing to do with it. Stefan always knew I was too good for his son.”

  “Mr. I-have-three-championship-rings. Definitely too good for him.”

  Chuck surveyed Jesse with narrowed eyes. “You’re just pouring on the praise tonight.”

  Jesse grunted and downed the rest of his beer. “Just feeling a bit twitchy.”

  No shit.

  There was only one conclusion Chuck could come to about that. “You’re nervous about taking me to meet them all.”

  “Maybe. I don’t know. You’re in with the boys, but the wives, man.” Jesse gave a low whistle.

  “They’re just chicks,” Chuck said, hoping to make Jesse laugh.

  Jesse chuffed and made the sign of the cross. “You say that to any of them and you’re on your own.”

  “Helpful.”

  “Seriously, get in with Brittany and you should be good. It’s her and Kam’s house we’re going to. And Lila is really cool. She’s my favorite out of all of them, but there is no way in hell you are ever to repeat that.”

  “Are they going to have kids there?”

  “Not at this one. But most of the wives will take off well before any of the boys do.”

  Chuck took in Jesse’s tucked-in shoulders and his fingers digging dents into the side of the beer can. Jesse couldn’t even meet his eyes.

  “It isn’t just Kam and me meeting the wives,” Chuck tested. “There’s something else.”

  Jesse audibly exhaled as he nodded. “Something I’ve been trying to figure out how to tell you. Deciding whether I needed to or not.”

  “And?”

  “Kam also gave me a heads up that one of my exes is going to be at the party.”

  “An ex.” Chuck’s heartbeat kicked up.

  “Rachel. Kam calls her the ex.”

  Chuck took a deep breath and let that sink in. “You dated her a long time, I’m guessing.”

  “Almost a year.”

  “Ended badly?”

  Jesse scoffed. “It ended. She broke up with me. That’s what you’re waiting to hear, right?”

  Chuck swallowed. That didn’t make him feel better.

  This whole conversation had been a hell of a lot easier when he was on the other side of it. He could definitively state he didn’t love Adalric anymore. But Jesse…?

  “Fuck.” He scrubbed his fingers through his hair and looked at Jesse. “I don’t know if I really want this answer or not, but I gotta ask just like you did. Anything still there?”

  “We were a disaster as a couple. A lot of jealousy and petty fights. But we were together when everyone else was getting engaged or married….” Jesse met his gaze and shrugged. “My mom and dad liked her.”

  The ex that Jesse’s parents had likely thought would end up becoming the one. Even better.

  “Is she still single?”

  “Yeah.”

  And she would have no idea that Jesse wasn’t anymore.

  “Fuck.”

  “Yeah,” Jesse sighed. “Maybe we shouldn’t go.”

  No. If Chuck was remembering his Kensington history right, then their relationship had ended almost a decade ago. If she had wanted to get back together with him, then she would’ve tried years ago. Or Jesse would have. As for no one else knowing about them, the two of them knew and that was all that mattered right now.

  Jesse had just told him that Kam might know about them and had been okay with it. And that, whether Jesse realized it or not, was a way bigger step out of the closet than asking Chuck to be his boyfriend.

  Chuck flipped his leg over Jesse and straddled his waist. He twisted his fingers in Jesse’s shirt and urged him cl
oser. “Or we could both release some pressure before we have to go.”

  “I just got dressed. And fixed my hair.”

  “The mussed-up look is in.”

  Jesse licked his lips. “What did you have in mind?”

  Chuck glanced over his shoulder at Precious sitting on her haunches and staring at them. “Something that doesn’t need an audience.”

  “Sorry, Precious. It’s bedtime,” Jesse said. He slapped Chuck’s ass and Chuck scooted off to the side.

  Chuck listened to Jesse’s footsteps and the sound of Precious thumping onto the floor, then the click of the door, thinking about what Jesse had asked.

  What did he have in mind?

  Their first time together, on this couch, had been incredible. Mind-fucking-blowing, or mind-blowing fucking as it were. And since then they’d done just about everything…except take it slow.

  They’d fucked just about everywhere in the house—bedroom, bathroom, kitchen counter, living room—more times than he could count. But it was always wild. Uncontrolled. As if neither of them could come fast enough or hard enough or enough times. Fucking, handjobs, blowjobs, sixty-nine, reverse cowboy. But never missionary with Jesse’s body crushing his, the solidness of him surrounding Chuck.

  It was a surreal realization that he even wanted that. He wasn’t romantic or sentimental—he’d never be the boyfriend who brought home flowers or remembered every anniversary. And yet, there were days that he craved Jesse’s hands on him. Times when he just couldn’t get close enough, or when Jesse couldn’t get deep enough inside him. The man was a powerhouse of muscle, the cut of his body already shifting from miles of running every morning, and he wanted Jesse to use his physical dominance to draw Chuck out until he was begging to come.

  Fuck. He was already rock hard at the thought.

  Jesse was unbuttoning his shirt as he turned the corner from the stairs, the top button on his jeans already undone. He prowled across the room, intent on Chuck, his movements sure and confident. He dropped the gaudy shirt off his shoulders and threw it into the corner, then extracted a condom and lube from his pocket.

  Jesse reached for him, but Chuck set his hand on Jesse’s chest to stop him.

  Such warm skin, and a steady heartbeat below his fingers. An expanse of tanned skin and defined lines of muscle that taunted him as they dropped unseen beneath Jesse’s pants.

  “I want to take it slow.”

  “Slow?” Jesse repeated, his voice quiet.

  Chuck took one step into Jesse’s body. “Really”—he kissed Jesse’s jaw—“goddamn”—he sucked on Jesse’s earlobe—“achingly”—he licked down Jesse’s neck to his collarbone—“slow.”

  Jesse lifted Chuck’s chin and crushed his lips against Chuck’s. Chuck opened for him, tilting his head until they were breathing into each other, tongues sliding sensuously in and out, testing, tasting. Jesse didn’t pull away until Chuck was dizzy, unsteady on his feet, all senses attuned to the man pressed against him.

  “Then we take it slow,” Jesse rasped. “Fuck the party. We can be late.”

  He pulled Chuck’s shirt over his head, tossed it aside, then hooked his foot around Chuck’s ankle and toppled both of them to the floor. Chuck huffed in surprise, a laugh bubbling out of his lips. “That’s slow?”

  “There’s only so much I can do standing up. But like this?” his heated gaze raked over Chuck’s half-naked body. “I could spend all night here. I repeat—fuck the party.”

  Chuck circled his hand around the back of Jesse’s neck, drawing him in close. “How about you just fuck me, Beast?”

  Jesse ground down against him and pushed his ass into the floor. The length of Chuck’s zipper pressed against him—an edge of pain that arced through him and made him grab Jesse’s hair and draw him into another breath-stealing kiss. Jesse kept one arm braced on the floor and the other slid down Chuck’s ribs, over his stomach, and teased at the head of Chuck’s cock where it jutted out of his jeans.

  Jesse pulled away from Chuck’s lips with a satisfied hum, then pushed himself up until he was on his knees between Chuck’s legs, his hands on the insides of Chuck’s thighs. He rubbed over the fabric of Chuck’s pants, teasing the skin below. Chuck tried to chase the sensation, but it was too muted.

  “I need your hands on me,” Chuck begged. “In me.”

  Jesse undid the zipper one agonizing tooth at a time, each brush of his finger over the fabric of his boxers torture, amping him up. Jesse grabbed the waistbands, his hands settling into the grooves between his groin and thighs, and pulled until Chuck was naked. Jesse took his time working back up Chuck’s body with his lips and hands, only pausing to remove his own clothing.

  Chuck shivered on the floor as he waited.

  Jesse spread his knees wide and pulled Chuck onto his lap, hooking Chuck’s legs over his shoulders. He slicked his fingers and worked them inside Chuck, spreading him open. Chuck thumped his head to the floor and gave in, surrendering to Jesse’s touch. His breath came harsher, heat pooling low in his stomach, and the need to have Jesse inside him, over him, burned deeper in his core.

  Just as Chuck was about to beg, Jesse slid inside him in one fluid motion. Chuck sucked in a harsh breath, waiting for the burn to pass. Jesse moved agonizingly slow and shallow in Chuck’s ass. And he kept his hands on Chuck’s hips, fingertips so close, yet not touching his cock.

  “Fucking Christ, Jesse. It’s not enough. Harder. But still slow. Deeper.” Jesse groaned as he lifted Chuck’s hips and pushed in as far as Chuck’s body would take him. Chuck moaned. “God, so fucking deep.”

  Sweat dripped from Jesse’s forehead as he held back from slamming into Chuck. But with each slow slide, Jesse was hitting exactly where Chuck needed him to. The heat built inside him—flame by flame, flickering, feeding, growing—until slow was no longer an option.

  He pushed back against Jesse’s cock, riding him, thrusting them together in a frantic pace until he was coming and Jesse was coming, bodies wracked, chests heaving and breaths halting. Jesse’s gaze bored into him, as if he was unable to look away.

  “Holy fuck,” Chuck finally breathed out.

  Jesse nodded and grimaced as he pulled out, holding onto the condom. “You okay?”

  “Way fucking better than okay. Just give me a minute.” Chuck lay spread eagle on the floor and let blissful post-orgasmic waves pass through his body as he tracked Jesse’s movement into the kitchen and back out. Then Jesse thumped down next to him on the floor and swept the cum off Chuck before he laid his head on Chuck’s stomach.

  “I like it slow,” Jesse said.

  “Yeah,” was the only thing Chuck could manage to get out.

  They lay on the carpet, Chuck running his hand through Jesse’s hair, until they curled into each other for protection from the gathering cold.

  “Think it’s time to get dressed and go.”

  “I guess.”

  Jesse stood up and offered Chuck his hand. Jesse pulled him in for a kiss that was half smile, half laugh, and all Jesse. Chuck fucking melted in his arms.

  “Come on, Sollie. Get your shiny shirt back on, I’ve got a surprise for you.”

  Jesse grunted. “I don’t like surprises.”

  “Duly noted. But I’m pretty sure you’ll like this one.”

  They got re-dressed—Jesse taking twice as long as Chuck—then headed out the front door.

  Jesse stopped on the stairs and stared at the car parked in his driveway. “That’s not your truck.”

  “This is my fun car. I figured since it wasn’t snowing that I’d take it out one last time. Surprise.”

  “Oh yeah, I like this surprise. You have to let me drive.”

  Chuck shook his head. “You don’t understand. This is a ’68 Mustang Fastback in mint condition—the car Steve McQueen drove in Bullitt. Not the exact car of course, but everything down to the interior details has been restored to match that car. This is my baby.”

  “And I’m your boyfriend,” Jesse cha
llenged. “Who better to entrust your baby to?”

  “Nu-uh. You’ve been drinking.”

  “One beer! And I weigh almost three hundred pounds.”

  “More like two seventy now.”

  Jesse huffed.

  “Do you even know how to drive a stick?”

  “You know I’m more than proficient with sticks,” Jesse retorted.

  “Now you don’t get to drive her just because of that joke.”

  “Come on, Chuck.” He batted his eyelashes. “Please?”

  Fuck the ex. Jesse was with him now.

  Chuck tossed him the keys. “If you hurt her, there will be consequences.”

  “Exactly what do they need the gate for?” Chuck asked as the security gate to Kam’s subdivision slid open. “We’re surrounded by corn fields.”

  “Welcome to suburbahell,” Jesse mumbled.

  Chuck hummed his agreement. Kam and Brittany’s neighborhood had divided streets and street lamps made to look like lanterns, complete with flickering electric lights. Wreaths and stars hung from the light poles with holly and pine branches wrapped around them. Every house looked like the other, with only slight variations in the landscaping and stylistic touches to the red brick McMansions. It was a cheaper, modern version of the neighborhood he’d grown up in.

  “How can you even tell where you’re going?” Chuck asked. “Every street looks exactly the same and they all have names with ‘Pine’ in them.”

  “The hard part is when I get to their street. They used to be the last house on it, but since the economy started picking up more houses have been built. Now it’s nearly impossible to tell which house is theirs.”

  Jesse turned down a street with another nature name that didn’t match the terrain and slowed to study each house.

  “There.” Jesse pointed to a house where a man and woman were walking up the steps of a house with a lighted reindeer on the brown lawn, its head mechanically swiveling between an inflatable Santa and snowman. “There’s Danny and Lila.”

  Jesse beeped the horn and pulled into an open spot next to the curb. Danny and Lila stopped at the steps and, when Jesse got out of the car, the brunette Asian woman broke into a wide smile.